The Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Bangkok

Bangkok's Chao Phraya River river is the city's uncongested heart, and a cluster of world class hotels - including the Shrang Re La - are enviably positioned here on this sweeping waterfront location. Perhaps the best known of these is the Oriental (of the Mandarin Oriental group), the city's answer to Singapore's Raffles hotel, or The Ritz in London.

The Oriental is Bangkok's grand dame of hotels; built 130 years ago, the hotel is famed for the patronage of literary guests such as Graham Greene, Joseph Conrad, Ernest Hemingway, Barbara Cartland, and Somerset Maugham. Some of the top suites are named after these esteemed literary visitors.

The Oriental's prime riverside setting is integral to the atmosphere and fabric of this 358-room (plus 35 suites) hotel - so much so that it is scattered over two locations, on either side of the water. The hotel's own traditional-style wooden boats ply the waters until midnight each day, transporting guests from the main building to the spa and Thai restaurant perched on the other side.

When we arrive, the Oriental's famously attentive service comes instantly into play - the door attendant scoops our bags from the bag seat and whisks them inside, where we are greeted with our first view of the spectacular lobby. A breezy member of staff whisks us over to the check-in desk, where a gaggle of staff are busily seeing to guests' every need.

Upstairs on the sixth floor, spectacular river views - aided by a huge, wall-length window - take centre stage: we are high enough up to see along it for half a mile. The room itself is pretty luxurious - there's a fabulously comfy King sized bed, all mod cons, smatterings of Thai artwork; a large-ish bathroom. The neutral walls and plush feel lend it a slightly corporate feel, and I reflect that, without the river views, this could be a hotel room in any high end city.

Except for, that is, the unexpected butler service: ten minutes after arriving at our room, there's a knock on the door, followed by the appearance of a cheery staff member bearing two glasses of fresh orange juice. He informs us that he is our butler, and that we should call him with any question or problem, however small.

For real tradition-lovers, the old-style rooms are a better bet - more characterful, less business-like, though perhaps also a little less luxurious.

The Oriental is world famous for its impeccable service - a high guest/staff ratio of 3:1 ensures that a smiling butler, waiter or lift attendant is never more than a metre away. I found this level of attention both charming and slightly maddening at the same time; for others, the emphasis on service sets the hotel head and shoulders above the rest.

Another raison d'etre is the sheer range and variety of the hotel's facilities: The Oriental boasts six restaurants, two swimming pools, a shop, and an award-winning spa, housed in a traditional Thai house. The hotel's sheer scale lends it a feeling of opulent self-containment; it is easy to see how well-healed guests might while away the tropical days swimming, being massaged and eating langorous meals at one of the magnificent restaurants.

For more adventurous guests, venturing out into the city could hardly be easier - the Oriental pier is seconds away from the hotel, from where shuttle buses plough upstream every few minutes.

Deciding which of the hotel's six restaurants to dine in could almost be a full-time holiday occupation - the choice includes renowned French restaurant, Le Normandie; The China House; Riverside terrace; Ciao; and Lord Jim's. We have a memorable meal at the traditional Thai restaurant, Sala Rim Naam, just over the river.

Every evening, Thais (seated on elegant floor cushions) and foreigners (at tables) are treated to a 90-minute performance of Thai dancing - a sparkling, spectacular show. The standard price (what?) buffet is served at the same time: we are served course after course of delicious Thai food, heavy on fish.

The embarrassment of riches included steamed Thai dumplings with minced chicken and peanut stuffing; deep-friend curried fish patties; steamed prawn with fresh salad and chilli lime sauce; curried shrimp paste with tangy sauce; and deep-friend white sea bass with turmeric, kaffir lime leaves and chilli tamarind sauce.

After the excess of food and festivity, quieter pleasures await: we de-camp to the outside dining area, sipping cocktails and gazing at the steady life of the river at night time. Afterwards, jazz before bedtime awaits: the hotel's well-known Bamboo bar is great fun: atmospheric, mellow, receptive. We were entertained for an hour or two by visiting singer Denise Thimes, whose deep, full jazz voice filled the bar in velvet tones.

Apart from the bars and restaurants, the Oriental has plenty more to keep the discerning guest entertained. The big, gorgeous main pool is at its best in the early morning or late afternoon, after the sun worshippers have disappeared and once the sun's heat has melted away.

A treatment at the spa is another must: located across the river, in a traditional Thai-style house of carved teak wood, the spa is an impressive winner of a roll-call of awards, and recently had a £600m refurbishment.

There are 14 'suites' and a relatively new Ayurvedic Pavillion, which sits above the main spa on the other side of the river from the main building - all teak wood, oriental carvings and (of course) river vistas.

My Ayurvedic head massage manages to be both deeply soothing and invigorating: layers of hot is rubbed into my back, shoulders and hair, before the therapist gently strokes the pressure points on my face. Afterwards, a vigorous power shower in the same room washes away any trace of the healing oils.

Money permitting, if would be all too easy to become institutionalised here, albeit it in a rather wonderful way - seduced by the world-class facilities, elegance and magical location.

Especially as night falls, the watery vistas take on a soft, mesmeric hue - the riverside setting comes alive as it's lit by hundreds of candles and fairy lights. Meanwhile, the constant background lapping of the water, chatter of the diners, and welcome breeze through the palms.

Once truly immersed in this slightly unreal opulence, I can imagine the prospect of venturing out into the real city, as wonderful as it is, would seem like a major chore. My advice? Book a night or two at The Oriental as a very special treat, to be enjoyed at the tail end of a visit - once the sightseeing is done and dusted.

The Oriental is very far from the real Bangkok, or from the real world, for that matter, and therein lies its magic. Just ensure that you make good time for the real city - with its fumes, grit, temples and charm - some time beforehand.

Room rates from £180 a night.