A sneaky peak at the funky Protea Hotel Fire & Ice!, Cape Town
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Funky, trendy and stylish are not only words you could use to describe dear old me (I do jest), but also Cape Town's Protea Fire & Ice! hotel. It's truly a five star experience at three star prices, and one of the best hotels I've ever stayed in (and I've stayed in a lot).
I was informed by the management that the only reason Protea Fire & Ice! can't be a five star is because the rooms are too small. When the hotel was built, the developers opted to increase room yield and keep prices low, rather than increase space as well as prices. So, rooms are compact, but unless you want to spend a lot of time in them (and why would you in Cape Town?) that shouldn't be a problem.
It was a pleasure to spend time here. The 189 rooms that the hotel has are really funky - very stylish, as is the rest of the hotel, and for me, size didn't matter at all. If you've booked a twin room, chances are you'll be sharing breathing space with your companion, but everything else makes up for that.
Oh, but do be aware, the way the showers are designed means you can see through into the room – so you might have to allow each other 'private time' if you prefer to keep your private bits private.
The hotel bar is very buzzing and cool - non-residents come in for drinks and the lively atmosphere, as well as the fabulous milkshake menu they serve here (think concoctions which include Snickers bars and peanut butter).
And you just have to have pee at Fire & Ice! In fact, pee a few times - the toilets are just incredible! You have to see them to believe them, but each toilet is styled in a VERY individual way.
The best bathroom is the one where there are life-size images of a semi-naked man and woman on the wall, with strategically placed towels. And the cruel trick is, that if you attempt to move the man's towel, an alarm goes off in the main bar so everyone knows you've been peeking!
If you smoke (I don't) I'd expect the guests' smoking room should probably put you off for good. And if it doesn't, hats off to your hardy nature. Designed in very dark humoured way, the cigarette dispenser in the room is a coffin, and if you look up, you'll see a mural of people (mourners) looking down – into your grave. Not for the faint-hearted!
And while Fire & Ice! is quite trendy, it shouldn't put off older clientèle. The service is outstanding - the staff cannot do enough for you and they offer great service in a completely down-to-earth and natural way, rather falling over themselves to smile and help but as fake as can be.
Oh, and breakfast is simply fabulous. Excellent food in a gorgeous setting.
Honestly, for the value, location, service and comfort this hotel offers, as well as its exceptional style and uniqueness - it's worth giving up a few inches of space. I would stay here again in a shot, and it takes me a lot to be impressed by hotels because I have stayed in so many exceptional top class ones!
New Church & Victoria Street , Cape Town, South Africa
Cost standard double room: £££
Services swimming pool, fitness equipment, parking, hotel restaurant, hotel bar, room service, business services, internet access
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